When you were a kid what kind of superpower did you want? Maybe I’m a minority, but this question was a big deal when I was little. The rules were you could only choose one superpower. I always chose invisibility. I thought it would be amazing to walk through my house without being seen. As the oldest of six children, being alone was a luxury. Unbeknownst to me, I was being prepared for life as a mom.
Invisibility is still one of my top choices. My other top choice as an adult would be to fly. I hate flying in airplanes. Being crammed together with lots of people high in the air sounds like a cruel form of torture. I have a feeling that maybe I was just made for first-class, but have never had the opportunity to prove that theory. Having the freedom to fly anywhere I want, at any time, without being stuffed into a plane sounds like a dream. Invisibility and flying are both things you do alone.
If it’s not obvious already, I am an introvert. I generally score 100% introvert in all of the personality tests. I feel that as I age, the more introverted I become. I don’t know if it’s because I finally feel free to be the person I was made to be, or if it’s because all of my people energy is taken up by my family and I have nothing left at the end of the day. I have a feeling it’s the latter.
As an introvert I love being alone. It’s like a rare, precious metal. I treasure and long for it. When I am alone, I am the most myself. Very few people see the real me, and even the ones I trust the most only see glimpses of my true self.
I would love it if I could go into a large group and get acclimated without anyone knowing I was there. I struggle going into huge groups of people, especially people I don’t know very well. This is where invisibility would be awesome. Once I felt comfortable I could appear like I had been there the whole time. I could avoid the big “hellos” and hugs and small talk. I hate that stuff with a passion.
It’s hard to be the one that works in the background when our culture today glorifies the obvious, the seen and the big gesture. The more deeply I care about something, the quieter I am about it. My favorite place is making someone else successful behind the scenes. I do not wish to be out in front, although I have been called to the front and have followed that call.
I often ask God why he made me this way. My particular bent would be much more suited for a life as a bookish hermit. Instead, I am homeschooling three children, and work with children at my job. I am constantly surrounded by people and I often feel as if I’ve given everything I’ve got.
I do know that God gave me my gifts, my personality and my particular bent for a reason. He gave me my husband and children as a way to refine me and them. I struggle with relating to people that want me to act as they do. How much of myself should I change in order to love someone else? How can I love more fully by being the person God called me to be? These are the questions I wrestle with as I learn to navigate my personality.
I’m still learning and finding the person that God made me to be. Until then, I’d like to be invisible.
Interested in hearing from other introverts? A new website called Quiet Revolution recently launched and is a great resource for anyone wanting to find a community of introverts or just to learn more about introverts in general.
Are you an introvert or do you live with one? What’s one of the challenges you face in dealing with introversion?